The Rules

I received this short piece from an anonymous writer a few days ago, and I thought I'd publish it with a few of my own thoughts. Laura and I want the Goblet to be a place where people can share what they know, and how they feel. We wanted this to be a slice of real Lehigh life. The following piece made me think about how difficult it really is to find your place in a sea of people. It's interesting what expectations get confirmed or dismissed when you come to college. The things you think will happen don't and the things you never thought would happen, do. Coming to college is usually the first powerful experience that changes what we think about life. The first time we have to live on own own and figure out what we want to do with our lives, who we want to spend all our time will. In my case, I almost transferred because I could not sift through what I wanted from a school. I am glad I didn't, because my second year provided me much more time to understand that if I wasn't doing exactly what I wanted to be doing, I wouldn't be happy. If I was spending time with people that made me pull my hair out, what was the point? A friend told me a saying that her mother used to tell her, "nothing's worth raising your blood pressure over." And in my personal life I've found myself much happier when I don't follow "the rules". Now, I'm not tell you all to break the law, but we don't always have to do what everyone else is doing, especially if you're not into it. So be free and be who you are! 

-Meghan Barwick '15

I came to college hopeful.

High school had been less than stellar. I never managed to figure out how to be one of those popular kids you see on TV, or which lunch table to sit at. I missed the boat as far as getting invited to parties or drinking. At times it seemed I never even learned how to hold a conversation without being awkward or an asshole. It seemed like everyone but me was following a set of rules, some subtle playbook I hadn't gotten a glance at. But every time I sat alone for a meal or spent another night home and alone, I always had college to look forward to. The promised land! Paradise! College would be where I could be myself, where the scales would be reset and I could find my people. The people I knew had to exist whose behavior I could understand. So I endured. I took the hardest classes I could, studied hard, took my SATs and did my tours. One thing led to another, and I landed at Lehigh. The first day of Freshman year I was so excited. First day of the rest of my life.  I stayed hopeful for a month or so. Then the rules began to appear again. We party every night here. We poison ourselves with everything we can drink smoke or snort. And everyone else seemed to know how to do this, effortlessly. I rechecked my schedule to see if I had missed some sort of class or seminar, and if so when the make up date would be. No such luck. I tried to fake it for a while, I went to the parties, drank whatever beverage happened to be on hand, played one game of ruit after another.  And in the middle of every crowded party I still felt alone.I couldn't understand how to spend entire night throwing balls at cups and have fun, or what the appropriate protocol for hooking up with someone you met within the last hour was. Or what hooking up even meant… Sex? Making out? Going fishing together? No one ever explained, despite the phrase's constant use. When did it become ok to wear pink shorts but not cargo shorts? What is the appropriate type of hat to wear, and how flat should the brim be? When did forcing yourself to vomit every Friday, Saturday and the occasional Thursday become fun? I think its my own fault. I made a mistake somewhere along the line maybe, or I’m just not flexible enough, too stubborn to change my ways. I think I just don’t want to play by these rules. I let myself be ostracized rather than change. I am not a wise man. I wish I had. I wish I could have, I just didn’t know how.Eventually I gave up. Surely there are people here whom I can understand, maybe just one person just as confounded by all of this as I am. I’ve heard legends of such folk, but wherever they are, they’ve hidden well. For now I have plenty of work to do alone, classes to take alone, and meals to eat alone. Welcome to paradise.

-Anonymous